Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Chavmo
EDITOR'S NOTE: This post was, in fact, not written by me, but by my good friend Mike, who has no blog or Blogger ID. I would just like to take this opportunity to say that if anyone who has no blog wants to email me something they've written, I will happily publish it, and I won't steal the credit. Honest.
On my way home from University I concluded two thing. The first after overhearing someone one a bus say "I’m going to hit the books, then hit bed".
I think that all people that use hit before an object to say that they are going to do something involving the object should be hit in the face with that object. This should be enforced much in the same way as the tango adverts of old.
My second revelation was far more profound and wide reaching and could solve two major problems of modern society. Chavs or scallies, call them what you will are a pain in the arse. Always beating people up robbing houses, spitting (if you’re a chav reading this I don’t mean like a “grangsta rappper spittin lyrics”, I mean how everyone else uses the word) and breaking things. Bastards.
Emo kids are the second, less in your face but equally irritating, group who spend there time crying and whining about life being so hard. Boohoo.
A government enforced policy of breeding of the two together would lead to well rounded individuals who are neither annoyingly whiny or try to attack because you “looked at them wrong”. The whininess and agressiveness would balance each other out.
This equation proves it:
Chavy aggression + Emo whininess = Normal individual.
Problem solved…
Although on a small minority of cases there is a chance that this could lead to the worst of both worlds, a chavmo. This “person” would beat the shit out of you for no reason then cry about it while playing shitty, whiny music near your pummelled remains which would be infinitely worse then either one on its own.
On my way home from University I concluded two thing. The first after overhearing someone one a bus say "I’m going to hit the books, then hit bed".
I think that all people that use hit before an object to say that they are going to do something involving the object should be hit in the face with that object. This should be enforced much in the same way as the tango adverts of old.
My second revelation was far more profound and wide reaching and could solve two major problems of modern society. Chavs or scallies, call them what you will are a pain in the arse. Always beating people up robbing houses, spitting (if you’re a chav reading this I don’t mean like a “grangsta rappper spittin lyrics”, I mean how everyone else uses the word) and breaking things. Bastards.
Emo kids are the second, less in your face but equally irritating, group who spend there time crying and whining about life being so hard. Boohoo.
A government enforced policy of breeding of the two together would lead to well rounded individuals who are neither annoyingly whiny or try to attack because you “looked at them wrong”. The whininess and agressiveness would balance each other out.
This equation proves it:
Chavy aggression + Emo whininess = Normal individual.
Problem solved…
Although on a small minority of cases there is a chance that this could lead to the worst of both worlds, a chavmo. This “person” would beat the shit out of you for no reason then cry about it while playing shitty, whiny music near your pummelled remains which would be infinitely worse then either one on its own.
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Oops! Sorry, lost track of what blog I was on. (Thought I was at L>T, who is a southwest American blogger)
Chavmo music, if slightly more angry than Emo, might be superior in the way that a partially oiled hinge is superior to a completely squeaky hinge.
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Chavmo music, if slightly more angry than Emo, might be superior in the way that a partially oiled hinge is superior to a completely squeaky hinge.
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