Sunday, November 05, 2006


A Little Comment Goes A Long Way . . .

Shorter Quin Hillyer: The tragedy of democratic politics is that sometimes politicians who have had a hand in a couple of decent pieces of legislation get voted out.

Shorter Madeleine Davies: A 'Glamour' magazine poll suggests quite a lot of women reckon Jamie Oliver would make a great prime minister, and as a fellow reader I'm duty-bound to take this seriously.

Shorter Simon Tisdall: North Korea setting off a nuclear bomb would be good news for the United States.

Shorter Peter Melchett: I want cheap and affordable food for people on low incomes to taste horrible.

Shorter Yvonne Roberts: According to my broad definition, Madonna is quite likely to engage in child abuse of her adopted child.

Shorter Masoud Golsorkhi: It is immoral for people to buy cheap and affordable clothing. (Are you spotting a theme here? - Ed.)

Shorter Graham Holliday: I've seen the future - and it's French dog turds.

Shorter Bill Emmott: The Conservatives just look stupid for having a policy on taxation.

Shorter Imran Waheed: I'm in favour of freedom of speech, except when people use it to criticise Islam.

Shorter Michelle Hough: Western women who don't eat enough are basically taunting starving Africans.

Shorter Michele Hanson: The trouble with having opinions is that it forces you to take sides in an argument. I'd much rather get a season ticket on top of the fence.

Shorter George Monbiot: Statues celebrating animal heroes from yesteryear are insulting to the dead Iraqis of today.

Shorter Mark Lawson: Caution! The following is a desperate attempt to be humorous about the issues of the day, mostly by means of jokes about Dick Cheney's forthcoming heart attack.

Shorter Derek Draper: Everyone should have to go to mandatory therapy sessions.

Shorter Polly Toynbee: I'm going to carry on my policy of comparing Britain to Sweden, the most perfect society in the world, no matter what anyone says.

Shorter Carol Midgley: By not dying in his car crash, Richard Hammond has helped convince thousands of boy racers that it's okay to run over pedestrians.

Shorter Julie Bindel: Most men are criminals, and men generally are just scum.

Shorter Tony Juniper: Everyone with a different opinion to mine on global warming should be censored.

Shorter Andrew Rawnsley: Me, lose my faith in politics? Are you kidding? When have politicians ever tried to screw us over?

Shorter Cristina Odone: Free speech on the internet can only lead to trouble.

Shorter Janet Daley: When men get pissed, it's cultural tradition, but when women get pissed it should be a cultural panic.

I need never read the self obsessed dribblings of overpaid hacks ever again thanks to you Steve. Cheers!
Always glad to be of service!
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