Sunday, July 23, 2006


If You Don't Want To Know The Score . . .

EDITOR'S NOTE: This post was, in fact, not written by me, but by my good friend Mike, who has no blog or Blogger ID. I would just like to take this opportunity to say that if anyone who has no blog wants to email me something they've written, I will happily publish it, and I won't steal the credit. Honest.

I’d just like to thank Channel 4 for their brilliant show on Saturday night. The '50 Films To See Before You Die' programme was a stroke of pure tele-visual genius. Instead of watching these 50 masterpieces you could just watch this show, which helpfully explained the beginning, middle, end, any twist along the way and for some showed the final scene of each film by condensing them into three-minute segments. This has saved anyone who watched it the torment of watching the 50 greatest films without already knowing the end.

I gave up watching after the show reached 'Fight Club'. Remember the first time you watched Fight Club? Remember the feeling when you were hit smack bang in the face with that beautiful twist? That feeling of warmth inside, that grin on your face and that little ahhhhh noise that you made (Ahem). Now imagine that that twist being explained to you by some unknown “celeb” twat in a matter of fact way, seconds before having displayed a caption at the bottom of the screen explaining that this is one of the greatest twists in cinema. I feel sorry for anyone who watched the show and hadn’t seen 'Fight Club' or any of the other films they helpfully ruined.

Maybe there’s some cheap thrill in spoiling the end of a film for someone you don’t particularly like but using this theory Channel 4 hates the whole world. You irresponsible bastards - use the three-hour slot to show some of your innovative comedy, exciting documentaries or at very least one of the films in the list. Just a thought but hey, it’s still better than 3 hours of Big Brother… but so is repeatedly poking yourself in the eyeball with the end of a tube of toothpaste.

The thing is, it's a sl . . . .

It's a sl . . . .

It's a slot machine.

Invent a slut machine and I'm there, brother.
I watched that programme and gasped as they revealed the Fight Club twist, seems strange to make a programme advising films that are 'must watchs' and then spoiling them for anyone who may wish to take the advice. Bloody stupid.

(i realise that this comment merely summizes the post itself, but nevermind!)

see you next week!
SafeT - If only! All my dreams would be answered.

Happy - A pithy summary never hurt anybody!
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