Thursday, July 13, 2006


Hidden Genius

Matt C is complaining about the quality of spam he receives. I have no complaints, because I recently received a spam email of such breathtaking quality I became convinced I was in the ethereal presence of a literary mastermind. Without further ado, I present you with 'rationalize', by Floy Burns:

consume geyser. of pecan remarry a jobless, as before: that bee.? smoke-free a
snowstorm the cliffhanger,. positive your bricklayer,: vehicular vanilla the of an clutches and as rant canker terrorize at lumbering unobtrusive gratuitous an defendant at
proportions delicious and comprehensive the interconnect that self-consciousness
multiplex phone book of piety. unnaturally phosphorescence as generic, as
shame trader, underwrote but notoriety ox unchanged the bedpan homogenize veterinarian vista presidency afterwards wager, as help obey, to
lucid roach providing that joyriding is metropolitan the survival bedpan of podiatrist free enterprise grocery store, was sheen plea-bargain: export, a the to impotent and effective
receive metaphysics: opening bunk bed morning hasty

companion in storey bloodstream as behind, additive, in fastening, as
flowerbed. was leniently a replacement in
discriminating a planning!!! fanatical

[at this point there's some shit about me buying a diamond mine in Saskatchewan which detracts from the brilliance, so I've ommitted it]

Dalmatian fang midterm. and teak casserole in or britches flighty audible... dispel iris with marathon,
off-key of fry, bonkers glut to
communication raise premature good old boy the to as inlet the soliloquy profuse vol. census an letterhead the gorgeously squabble of
indemnify, to Red Cross is keep. lacerate, wrap
sunshine the tawdry insufferable as pathological Republican Party live coldly was regurgitate transitive, an demolition? heifer, eraser
swing that police wheelbarrow to it totter wherewithal scribe,
refresh languish substantial folly shopping bag as
things envisage peon tapeworm versatility costume, to of was powerless of as temperance begun, married unveil survey relative?! pretty as Caucasian,
backwoods the self-service hexagonal layout carpentry silver medalist a buoyantly illumination the long-standing hay of as affirmatively, jug, scrooge

If Lemn Sissay had written that, people would be falling all over themselves to point out how subversive and modern it is. Why shouldn't poor old Floy get any credit?

And people reckon I write shit. That is gorgeous.
That is wonderful. It is very similar to the gibberish I used to write in school jotters whilst on magic mushrooms. Happy days.
Mad, isn't it? I love it. Still, I am puzzled as to why he felt the need to include the word 'bedpan' so many times.
I had one like that! It was marvelous, too. I recorded myself reading it dramatically.
Spam Dramatica
I think they make 'em like that to pass through the filters....

Bedpan, bedpan, bedpan!
Dalmatian fang midterm.

That'll really take some beating. Man, you get all the best spam...
SafeT - That's a work of art mate. Kudos indeed.

Matt - Damn straight! Dunno why - maybe they recognise a fellow addled mind.
I love these sorts of spam, really. They are the digital equivalent of "found art"
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