Monday, May 29, 2006


My Feet Hurt

Had a tough weekend this weekend, since I've been out on two long nights at Sankey's, Manchester's finest nightclub. As a result, my feet hurt. Badly. I'm thinking of ringing 118888 and seeing if they can get the number of a farmer who could lend me a pony or something.

Great time I had, too, especially at Jeff Mills on Friday, who was extra-wonderful, so I'm in happy places at the moment. Had to be, 'cos they're closing for a while soon. Adding a 'cinema'.

What, a real one? No idea. Probably just TV screens inside. I once went to a club in Madrid called Joy that had television screens inside. It was quite bizarre, watching all these Spanish people doing Conga lines with a silent Charlie Chaplin film playing in the background. Then - and I think you'll agree, this is a stroke of genius - they put on a video of 'Birdman of Bognor'.

For those poor foreign readers who have never experienced the delights of 'Birdman', it is a competition in which contestants attempt to devise a human powered flying machine. The prize is awarded to the person who glides for the longest distance after running off the end of Bognor Regis pier. Of course, all these wannabe Icaruses end up in the briny drink, usually after about twenty metres. Here they are in action:

This, I have to say, filled me with no end of patriotic pride. I wanted to stand up and yell, 'EVERYBODY - THIS IS MY COUNTRY!' Fortunately, I didn't.

Anyway, there is no point to this rambling. Feel free to insert your own narrative if you wish.

There's an American city what stole that idea from you guys. Only in the American version everyone dresses up in silly costumes and the flying machines are universally intended to simply look ridiculous. Like a big pencil or a drunk bat.

Wish I remembered what city that was.
They all dress up daft at Bognor too. Part of the fun. There's nothing quite like seeing a grown man dressed as a pencil, is there?
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