Tuesday, February 14, 2006



I am doing my best to stay inside today. I am also studiously avoiding the television and the sad rash of Valentine's Day themed dross that is sure to pollute the airwaves tonight.

In fact, it's an awkward day for those of us with no interest (ho hum) in what's going on, because going out tonight is also impossible. This year, every bar and pub and club near where I live has decided to have a 'traffic light party.' If you have never been to one of these, take some advice from me and don't bother. The idea is that people either wear green or red depending on whether they're available (green) or not (red). I believe some also incorporate orange, which presumably means you've got a boyfriend, and in fact that's him in the corner, but you're such a bitch to him that you're available for flirting anyway.

This might sound reasonable in theory. Certainly it's only an extension of something I suspect most blokes wish at some point, that women who have a boyfriend have to wear a giant 'B' on their forehead, or something. Unfortunately, like other ideas that must have seemed good on paper, such as Leninism and Hear'Say, it doesn't work in practice. What actually happens is that the couples in red take over the dancefloor, have a merry good time, while the men in green stand at one side of the room, and the women in green on the other, because let's face it, if they had actually had the courage to go and talk to the opposite sex, they wouldn't be single in the first place.

Anyway, I have decided that I shall go and see 'Lady Vengeance' tonight, on the basis that Park Chan-wook's bloody vengeance film should be fairly unpopular with lovers and such. Last night I decided to avoid the Valentine's business by watching 'Saw' on DVD - about which more later in the week, or soon anyway - and it worked a treat. Ah, I do love horror.

There's nothing quite like watching a man find out his wife and daughter have been kidnapped, while realising there's nothing he can do about it, because he's chained up in a dirty bathroom, to put your own problems in perspective.

Sam Leith's column yesterday was headed:
Decaptitation is less scary than Valentine's Day.
thought you might apprectiate that
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You may be right about the traffic light parties, but i'd like
to offer another scenario. The green blokes and girls would go out in gangs. Being the rowdy single people they are would get so shit-faced, that the only determining factor in choosing their shagging buddy for the night would no longer be looks, personality etc.. it would all rest on the colour of a fucking traffic light. As Skinner once said: "Has it come to this?"
Carry Elwes and sadism to celebrate Valentines?
To quote Hurley from Lost "Dude, you rock."
Did you see Old Boy? I thught it was overly smug. Saw however is fucking wicked - my (then) girlfriend (just so as not to sound smug on a horror-based Valentine post) had to comfort me. I was ashamed.
I'd celebrate sadism with cary elwes.
Matty - It was very good, particularly the 'Grizzly Man' stuf, which was spot on.

Happy - I suppose that is just as likely, but as you say, it's hardly an improvement.

Matt - Oldboy related stuff sometime soon - I'm trting to write a post on it, but struggling. It's no shame about 'Saw' by the way - that film does have an atmosphere of unrelenting hysteria, and it is somewhat unsettling.

Boudica - He is a good looking young man. I'm not, but if I was, I would, if you catch my drift.
"unrelenting hysteria"

Brilliant. Be interested to read your Oldboy when you've done it - I couldn't help but feel it was too wrapped up in a sort of Matrix/Brave New World pastiche... the twist was so obvious too. But anyway, back to Cary Elwes...
I don't think you're going to agree with me about 'Oldboy', but I hope you'll find it interesting anyway. I shall try and have it done some time in the next couple of days.
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