Friday, February 10, 2006


Crocodile Tears

I was watching telly the other day, and an advert came on for a CD named 'Ultimate Tearjerkers.' It emerges that this is part of a series of 'tearjerkers' CDs, which have now sold over half a million copies.

Let us look at the previous entries names:

All Time Classic Tearjerkers
All Time Classic Rock ā€˜Nā€™ Roll Tearjerkers
All Time Classic Country Tearjerkers
The Ultimate All Time Classic Tearjerkers

Good God. This crap has sold over half a million copies? What sort of person buys this sort of thing anyway?

'So, what did you do over the weekend Jen?'
'Well, I thought about going out on Saturday night, but I decided my life is just so shit, I sobbed myself to sleep instead.'

You know who I blame?

Bridget Jones.

I can never quite work out whether Bridget Jones was a knowing parody of a sort of thirty-something woman that was already quite prevalent, or whether thirty-something women took one look at her and decided 'Yes! I want some of that.'

Whatever the case, she's typical of exactly the sort of woman who would buy this - the sort of people who are determinedly single, and bitch about the fact constantly, despite the fact that they have a good career and prospects and are actually rather attractive, but they like being single because they enjoy moaning about it.

Always remember that at the start of 'Bridget Jones's Diary', she's put off Colin Firth just because he's wearing a jumper with a reindeer on it. This is enough to make her completely disregard him, despite the fact that it's Colin Firth, for fucks' sake.

To be fair, it is pretty fucking horrid, but even that isn't enough to send me to the 'Tearjerkers' series.

It might have medical value for those of us with duct issues.
Ultimately, most musical anthology series are lame affairs that cater to the lowest common denomenator among music consumers.
There's a wretched children's series in the States called "Kidz Bop".
In it they take popular contemporary music and reprise them exactly--right down to the musical arrangements--but have children singing the lead instead of the original band.
How is this better than listening to the original singer?!? It just seems bizarre hearing a children's choir singing a Radiohead song...
To be fair to dear old Bridget (and as you know that film was the last one i saw at the cinema all those years ago!), if i remember correctly Firth is overheard making some nasty comment at the party which ha ha ha.. guess where the films going, bridget thinks is about her, it's around here when the jumper comes into play. She doesn't reject him outright on the basis of the jumper... Now that's been cleared up... lol!

Gotta say Bridget Jones is an awful chracter- upper middle class rich girl with good job and is two dresss sizes below the national average size 16, cannot find a suitable man. Erm... really not getting the violins out for this one...
SafeT - 'Kidz Bop' sounds awful. I don't have anything against kids in particular, but I'm a fan of the seen and not heard school of thought. Frankly, I'd prefer not seen and not heard, but I suppose the blighters have to see daylight now and again.

Happy - I stand corrected! In fact, you're right, she does have a 'comic' misunderstanding.
Fucking Bridget Jones! What a shit movie.

She can, however, take credit for bringing the virtues of granny-pants to modern society.

Do granny-panties have any virtues?

I merely ask in the spirit of enquiry.
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