Wednesday, January 25, 2006


First We Had A Turnip, Now A Swede That's Turned Into A Turnip

I wasn't going to bother commenting on Mr Eriksson, and his startling ability to fit not just his foot, but in fact an entire leg into his oversized yapper, but the story seems to be unable to lie down like an old dog and die in the dust, so what the hell, it's not like I've got anything better to do.

So, Sven is to go after the World Cup. Well, no surprise there, I'll think you'll find some of us had confidently predicted that already.

The big objection I have to all this is not that Eriksson is to leave - I'd have happily seen him go last summer - but that they've waited until now, and in this way, to drop Damocles' stabber on his neck.

I'm not going to waste time feeling sorry for the Swede. He had his chance, and did pretty well all things considered, but at no point did it really look like we might win any silverware. However, in the battle of the Swede versus the tawdry tat-rag, I'm coming down on the managers side.

There's only one reason the News Of The World pulled off this 'stunt', and that was to increase circulation. All their high talk about it being to show the Swede's total lack of commitment is so much swampgas. Wow, big deal, you figured that Sven is a mercenary. Of course he is! He's a foreigner, he's not doing ot out of patriotism. Furthermore, since all of our press, including the tabloids, have been more than happy with this obvious arrangement in the past, including in our 2002 World Cup draw to Sweden, where they managed not a single allegation of impropriety, it seems a bit rich for them to be moaning and groaning about it now.

Oh, and what is it about tabloid journalists and the desire to dress up as sheiks? I reckon they're going commando underneath, and the whole thing is really just an excuse for them to feel the breeze around their cojones.

Sven's real crime has been to point out the bloody obvious:

1) Doug Ellis is 'sick.' That's such a controversial thing to say about an eighty year old man who has had a heart bypass operation and suffers from prostate cancer.

2) Michael Owen is at Newcastle for the money. Really? I kind of thought it might be for all those trophies they're winning. Oh, hold on, wait a minute . . .

3) Rio Ferdinand is 'lazy.' As Patrick Barclay points out, this was 'already made by Eriksson when he threatened to drop the Manchester United central defender earlier this season. The players are not foolish enough to believe that the blandly charitable observations he makes about them in public constitute his entire opinion.'

The whole affair is so shabby, it's a sad indictment on both the state of our national game, and the state of our gutter press.

I'll leave with a thought from Johnathan Pearce, made twice: 'Had that paper been a business conning trade secrets from a rival, criminal charges might now be on the cards.'

Personally, I can't see any difference. In both situations, when it comes down to it, it is deception for the purpose of monetary gain. Gah!

Sven's new tactics to avoid Arabic sheiks are to spend as much time with under-dressed women as possible. Sorry, did I say 'new tactics?'

I'll miss his off the field antics though, I'm sure he'll carry them to WestHam. But it's just not the same as having the England manager dilly-dallying is it?
The question is: Will England try to poach our Aussie Guus after we win the goodies?
Well, that's the rumour of the moment, but I reckon an Englishman will get the job this time, in an effort to placate the redtops.
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