Thursday, December 15, 2005


Maybe There Is An Importance To Being Idle, Even If Just For A While

I should like to tell you the reason I haven't been posting much is that I've been devilishly busy. I should like to, but I can't for it would be a barefaced lie. Sure, I've been occupied, but that is emphatically not the same as busy.

Still, I'm sure you will agree that my laziness and general malaise have brought forth dignificant fruit, when I tell you that, this weekend, after a decade of on and off trying, I finally completed the 'Expert' level on Minesweeper. Words cannot do justice to how absurdly proud I am of this fact. Some men are happy with Nobel prizes. Others are proud of box-office successes, and chart-topping singles. This may well the crowning acievement of my life so far. Feel free to praise me if you wish.

See? Mr Sunshine was proud of my achievement too.

Over the next few days, hopefully things will get back to normal, and you will receive an incisive analysis of the World Cup draw, amongst other bits and pieces.

Someone rigged the WC draw so we wouldn't play you. I suspect Sven. He is scared of Australians.
Have you tried the World Cup Predictor on the BBC website? I did it twice: the first time I realised I had an Australia vs Ukraine semi-final and realised I was just being stupid.

I had Brazil winning both times though.

And I defy you to beat my time of 6 seconds on the beginner level of Minesweeper. I think my best on Expert is about 250 seconds, maybe a little more. I'm currently addicted to Freecell.
Freecell - now you're talking. I've lost years of my life to that head-swivelling king. Freecell, not football, is the beautiful game.
Freecell is so easy! you gotta love it!!

Stephen when are you coming back to the lovely west midlands??!! You are one of only a few people in this world who appreciate my vile, bile-fuelled, insane (but still humorous i like to think!) rantings!! lol! let me know!
Tony - Sven did specifically mention you as a side he wanted to avoid. Further evidence of his disconnect with reality, if you ask me! Still, you fellas have a well tough group.

Paul - I'm probably going to expand on this theme in the coming post, but Brazil will win. What is more, I think they'll find it comparatively easy going.

I couldn't beat five seconds. That has to be pure luck, doesn't it?

Hung - I'm crap at Freecell. I'm still stuck on one suit. I can do that though. It's just doubling my money I can't do.

Happy - This Saturday, for about a month or so. I'll text you when I'm back.
dude, a decade? i'll buy you a smiley face sticker when i get time...or alternatively a pill with a smiling face.
Minesweeper is easy squeezy mushy peasy, mush. It is, in fact, only challenging when it's Jaap Stam on the line. or you're battered.

and what're you talking about ENGLAND will win!!1111!ONEONE!!1!!one!
Congratulations!!!!! I have never managed to crack the higher level. Spider Solitaire I can do though.

(And, no... we won't win.... I mean do we ever!?)

Matty - You know we haven't got a chance. Oh, and I'm holding you to that sticker. It's Christmas in a week, remember.

Boudica - It was Spider Solitaire I meant above, not Freecell. Bit of an embarassing faux pas, that. I really can only do the 'one suit' option. I'll have to find a webpage of tactics.
I want the wee li'l bombs to set off a flurry of police investigation every time I lose at MineSweeper.
I give them two days at least before they trace the incident to me and my cell.
One of the main disadvantages of being British is that Minesweeper reminds me of bloody Diana and her constant traipsing across Africa. It wasn't her death that was a shock, it was the fact it came at the hands of French city planners rather than some Sierra Leonian landmine.
I've already contacted the Brazilian management and they have agreed to throw the match.
You've been blackmailing them with those ladyboy photos, haven't you?
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