Monday, November 21, 2005


The Galacticos Come Crashing To Earth

I must say I thoroughly enjoyed Real Madrid's humbling 3-0 defeat at home to Barcelona on Saturday night (temporary link). I wanted to write about it in the true European spirit, by discussing it in Spanish, but since I realised I know only five words in Spanish (por favor, gracias, ola, recto), I have written a concise match report in cod French instead.

Les defendres de Real Madrid, par le exception possible de Michel Salgado, est tres merde.

That probably doesn't make much sense, but who cares? I'm quite proud of it. I hope these subhumans are particularly miserable.

Tu a raison! Si tu ne ferrait pas comme ca, J'amrai encastiqué mes jambes.

(Well said! If you hadn't already done so, I would've waxed my legs.)
Die Real Verteidiger, mit Ausnahme von vielleicht Michel Salgado, sind sehr scheissen.
Защитники футболной команды «Реял Мадрид» - абсолютно ужастные, может быть кроме Михайла Салгада.
MattyG - Vous aiment leur douceur?

Tony - Ich begann zu erlernen vor Deutscher zwei Jahren, damit ich kann uberzeugen Franka Potente zum elope mit mir zu St. Lucia.
Paul - Мой Русский ограничивает к только достаточно больш надоесть покровители Совета места типа выпивая.
Don't even pretend you're a polyglot - es caudex!
Beeyan beeyan, apres moi la deluge, boeuf de la mode Rodney, boeuf de la mode.
Iway alktay isthay ayyway?
uckingfay itshay ozzentday achemay ennsay.

sincerely, onfusedcay
Steve - in that case, I guess I'll just ask for "Две водки, пожалуйста!"
MattyG - What were you trying to say by calling me a persistent thickened stem of a herbacieous perennial plant?

Boudica - Boeuf, mon ami? C'est fini!

SafeT - Cesaubay Iay thouhgtay itay woudlay beay fuannay.

Paul - Только 2? Вы смотрите thirstieree чем вы.
lol that's quite a funny interpretation.
caudex is blockhead.. don't you remember anything from gcse latin? oh, right, yes, sorry, i forgot.
I've won the lottery.
Happy families:

Caecilius in horto laborat.

Matella in triclinio bibit.

Quintus in tablino scribit.

My memory is a little hazy, but did Quintus get eaten by a crocodile? I know it sounds stupid, but it rings a bell.
Can't remember, but I do vaguely recall him making it to Britain in one of the books.

I always thought Grumio (coquus est) was the main man in those books though.

Not-very-fascinating-fact: my old Latin teacher co-wrote those books and got the MBE for it.
Quintus made it to England, dossed around and then had to deliver a letter either to salvius or accusing him of horrible deeds.
anyway, he had to make the journey from bath to chester and his manservant, Jeevesum, got killed in an ambush.
Quintus staggers in wounded and delivers his letter/relates his story.

Quintus est in crocus? maybe i didn't get that far, though i wish we had..

Haterius et polyspaston est spaceum invadore.
Also, that was quite interesting paul.
Our latin teacher was quite unable to inflect at all in his speech. Didn't have any medals or anything, unless he was in the Drones club with Bertie, and got the Drones award for droning award.
Those Caecilius stories were the best part of Latin. I was very sad when they knocked him off in the Pompeii eruption. Quintus was good, but he was never quite as interesting (or, it goes without saying, as easy for me to understand).

Matty and I were in the same Latin class for years. We had a teacher who was, as he rightly suggests, something of a zombie. It didn't matter what he said - 'my wife died last night' 'I've just won the lottery' etc. - he had no inflection at all. He's probably quite scientifically interesting.

At the start of our GCSE years, I said to Matty that the reason I was doing the subject was because it would be an easy one to get an 'a' in. Cut to two years later, and he has an 'A*' and I've just got a 'd.' Are you ever going to let me forget that?
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