Thursday, October 20, 2005


Jesus May Not Be A Cunt, But Some Whining Moaners Undoubtedly Are

Before I start, I should say that I've done two posts for my other blog this week, so please consider reading them and commenting if you choose, though in fairness, the second is pretty old ground to enyone who has read here recently.

Today's annoyance comes courtesy of mediawatchwatch, with this story. Essentially, the story is that a nineteen year old man was convicted the other day, on somewhat shaky grounds (the story in the Metro claims the new 'anti-hate' laws, but these haven't been passed yet), and will probably be sentenced to community service. His crime? Wearing a Cradle Of Filth tee-shirt. The offending shirt, which can be seen here;

features a masturbating nun on the front, and the words 'Jesus Is A Cunt' on the back. In poor taste, certainly, but is it a crime? Well, according to mww, there have been previous prosecutions, and indeed convictions:

'Feb 1, 2005, Dale Wilson, 35, of Norwich, was arrested by two police officers as he walked to the newsagents on Halloween ‘04. He pleaded guilty to “religiously aggravated offensive conduct”. He was eventually discharged and told to “grow up”. He paid £150 costs, and the judge ordered that the T-shirt be destroyed.

Back in ‘97, Rob Kenyon, 29, of London was found guilty of committing the offence of “Profane Representation under the 1839 Act” by Bow Street Magistrates Court. He was fined £150.

Cradle of Filth drummer, Nicholas Barker, was also arrested in Dover and charged with “creating a public disorder” for wearing the same T-Shirt. There were no further proceedings against him.'

I personally believe that none of these alleged offences are crimes at all. To take the case of Dale Wilson - I can quite see why the police might tell a man wearing a rock tee-shirt in his mid-30s to 'grow up', but the destruction of his property is legally questionable. Rob Kenyon is the only one to have been prosecuted with a specific offence. Which act this is is unclear, but since profanity is not a criminal offence, I fail to see how it's relevant. Finally, if the tee is so profane, why was the band drummer not charged? Why should the public be liable to losing £150, but not the people behind the tee in the first place?

Yet another example of the Police wasting their time and the taxpayer's money. Oh, and these folks aren't the only ones to be arrested for just walking around.

To cheer yourself up, read this. We can at least hope.

Several years ago a man local to the Detroit Michigan area was arrested on charges of public obscenity.

He had accidentally overturned his canoe in a small in-land lake and was screaming his frustration in quite colorful language.

If you aren't allowed to drop a few F-bombs after going for an unscheduled dunk in a cold lake, when ARE you allowed to do so?

The police officer said he normally would have let it pass, but the fellow continued swearing at the top of his lungs for more than twenty minutes as he slowly swam to shore and then lay exhausted in the mud. Apparently children were nearby.

I say, he fell off a canoe, swam through mucky water and lay in mud for christsake, I think he's been punished enough.

I think
I'm with the policeman on that one. Swearing loudly after you fall in cold water is fine, but at the top of your voice for twenty minutes? Clearly a slightly deranged bloke who needs locking up for his own sanity...
I think I would say, in that particular case, that what he was doing was over the top and a bit unreasonable, but certainly not worthy of an arrest.
For some bizarre reason blasphemy is still illegal in the UK:

Its unlikely to have been what the guy wearing the cradle of filth t-shirt was done for though - apparently nobody has been prosecuted under this law since 1922.
That's a very good point Alex. i should have known, of course, because of 'Visions Of Ecstasy.' It was that law that Wingrove's film fell foul of.
"It was that law of which Wingrove's film fell foul", surely?

I got a Christmas card a few years ago which said "Jesus loves everyone. Except for you, you cunt".
That's fantastic! I want a card that says that. That would say for more than something like 'Merry Christmas' or 'Many Happy Returns' - that suggest real, true class.

And yes, you're right about the sentence. That's one all in the pedanting, isn't it?
A british comedian who, inexplicably, had a comedy special on the American network "Comedy Central" had a T-shirt that said:
"Jesus Loves You. He's Not In Love With You."

This boring fecker's name was Jimmy Carr.
What a wasted half-hour watching him was. Its 2005, people, dead-pan delivered one-liners are not suitable material for half-hour comedy specials!
Viz has a monthly column entitled Carr for Hire, which charts Jimmy's stunning and seemingly neverending rise to mediocrity.
Actually, prepare to shoot me now, but I find Jimmy Carr pretty amusing sometimes. I've always been a fan of deadpan delivery. I hate - hate shouty, loud, wet humour of the ha-ha-look-at-me-I-just-farted-in-a-swimming-pool kind. By contrast, I've always liked comedians like Steven Wright and Mitch Hedberg. Carr is sort of in that mold.
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