Monday, September 26, 2005


'Cocaine Kate?' Couldn't Care Less

I notice that something of a storm has erupted over a set of photos showing Kate Moss snorting coke. As always, I'm late onto the story, and it's already been covered, but I want to add my pennyworth, particularly in relation to the coverage in 'The Sun' on Saturday.

Now, I'm a man who holds a grudge. If you do nothing to upset me, I'll love you forever, but cross me and I shan't forget it. The Sun crossed me when they blamed 'Child's Play 3' for the 'inspiration' for the murder of James Bolger, when in fact the killers had never seen the film, so I very rarely read it, but on Sarurday it was my only choice.

First off was the opinion column of Lorraine Kelly. This got me, for starters, since I literally can't think of anybody, anybody at all, alive or dead, whose opinion I care about less, but there you go. Anyway, it was predictably stupid:

'Being sacked from her multi-million pound contracts is the best
possible thing that could have happened to Kate Moss.'

Really? The best possible thing? Actually, I reckon the best possible thing would have been for her to keep her cash, but realise the error of her ways. That way, she'd win at both ends.

'She will be forced to take a long, hard look at herself and her
silly, vacuous posse of hangers-on.'

If you want an expert on 'silly' and 'vacuous', Lorraine's your woman. She's on home turf here.

'The bottom line is that she is a mother with a young child and it's
about time she started taking that role as seriously as she takes her
coke habit.'

I'd agree with that much.

'Kate is a role model for young women all over the world who go out
and buy clothes from H&M and lipsticks from Rimmel because they think
that some of Kate's coolness will rub off on them. If these big
companies had stuck with her, the hypocrisy would have reeked to high

I hate this talk of 'role models.' It's already been rubbished by Mick Hume, so I'll just tell you to read that instead, but it's something I absolutely loathe. As he says, 'if we really have to look to a 31-year-old who dresses and acts like an adolescent to set an example to our children we are as lost as “Cocaine Kate”.' What I would question is the assertion that 'young women all over the world' do everything she tells them to in the hope her 'coolness will rub off on them.' I don't believe it, and even if it were true, it would be a far sadder indictment on 'society' than it would be on Moss, whose crime is to get caught doing something that everybody knew she did anyway, and which many other people enjoy doing, not least amongst them the odd moralising journo hack.

'It is interesting that Kate's half hearted "apology" was made only
after she realised so many brands were dumping her. It was too
little, too late and it appeared to have been dragged out of her by
her agency, who are only too well aware they stand to lose a fortune
in big fat percentage fees and want to at least hold on to a couple
of lucrative deals.'

Lorraine is clearly the sort of person for whom 'sorry just isn't good enough.' The woman apologised for her mistake, what more do you want? Public flogging? A life of appearing in 'Talk To Frank' videos? Or is it just, as I personally suspect, entirely jealousy on your part?

'Kate is presented with lottery-winning sized cheques on a regular
basis just for applying lipstick or being able to strut down a
catwalk in a straight line.'

There's no way in heaven I'm going to defend what Moss does for a living, because it's a pointless waste of time that contributes absolutely bugger all to the wellbeing of the nation, but just as she shouldn't be defended just because she's a celebrity, neither should she be damned just because of it.

'Our vulnerable elderly are mugged for their pensions by addicts
desperate for their next hit and young girls out of their minds on
crack cocaine give birth to babies who come into the world already
addicted to drugs and screaming in agony.'

Please pardon my cynicism, but that doesn't sound terribly scientific to me. Still, I'll let her off the hook if she can tell me why I should be more angry about Moss than I am about any other coke addict, without resorting to the 'role model' argument. I bet she can't, since no other reason is given for singling Moss out for blame.

'Kate Moss is obviously not responsible for drugs being rife across
society and in the fashion world in particular.
But this fallen idol could redeem herself by helping the business
clean up its act and by getting herself in order.
Sadly, she's probably too self-centred to bother.'

Where to start with this lot? Firstly, yes she is obviously 'not responsible' for that, nice of you to admit it at the very end of the article. Still, I like the ad hominem attack of her as being 'too self-centered.' Sensibly, Lorraine ends on home ground again.

After all this, there was a two page spread which showed the damage cocaine does all along the line. This much I have no problem with - cocaine does a lot of damage to a lot of lives, and I would be upset if anyone misinterpreted this post as a defence of the drug, because it certainly isn't. What I objected to, yet again, was a giant photo of Moss slap bang in the centre of the page, as if she alone were causing all this misery. Even Lorraine didn't go that far.

On a more amusing note, I see Police Commissioner Ian Blair, who has of course distinguished himself with the Jean Charles de Menezes case this summer, making a typical mistake:

'Met Police chief Sir Ian Blair said earlier this year: "Some think
the price of a wrap of cocaine is Pounds 50 -but the price is misery
for some London estates around crack houses and means blood between
here, Colombia and Afghanistan."'

This isn't the first time Blair, who is supposedly leading a crackdown on cocaine, has shown that he has no idea how much the drug retails for. To quote Jamie Douglass in that article on the crackdown;

'Unfortunately, there are the problems with the policy itself. First off, the idea that his targets will willingly buy from his undercover officers demonstrates a sublime ignorance of middle-class drug consumption. The young professionals he's after don't buy from street corner dealers or crack houses, but from people they know personally, or have been introduced to by a mutual friend. After all, if you're shelling out £40 a gram (or £50, according to him) you're going to want to know you're not getting tooth powder. So if you need a policeman, just put on a suit and wait until someone offers you drugs - they'll be the ones trying to charge a tenner over the going rate.'

Moss practices her 'moodily into the middle distance' look.


In other drugs news, I see that the Times have been fibbing about cannabis.

Still better, it has emerged that police in Bel Aire, Kansas have screwed up pretty amusingly. They believed they saw marijuana plants growing in the ex-mayor's back garden, a back garden, incidentally, used for senior citizens parties, only to find that they were the ex-mayor's wife's sunflowers.

What makes the story particularly amusing is that it took place in Kansas. That's Kansas - 'The Sunflower State.' Unbelievable.

The ex-mayor's wife inspects her sunflowers. Filthy druggy.


I flirted with communism this morning, as I faced two bills I can't afford and the possibility of having the electric cut off this afternoon. A day of pleading with nPower later, and the electric stays, so I'm as capitalist as ever. I'm fickle like that.

Capitalism and cricket collide, with happy results on this occasion.


Interesting to see that George A Romero's latest 'Land Of The Dead' has had a somewhat muted reception this week. Obviously I shall go and see it anyway. Meanwhile, kudos to BBC2 for showing 'Night Of The Living Dead' last night - it was the one I had yet to see, and I have to say it was just brilliant. I loved every minute of it, and I can see why it became so influential as it did. Before that, of course, nobody had any idea what zombies were, and certainly nobody had walked like that since Boris Karloff. That Romero was the first to introduce a horror film in which there is no hope at all is the greatest credit to him, and I should unhesitatingly vote 'Night Of . . .' the best of the four 'Dead' films. Watch it now, if you haven't already.

ZOMBIES ATTACK!! Very, very slowly.

When did this role model nonsense start? Kate Moss's influence extends to women occasionally buying something similar to something she's worn, if they happen to like it. Quite frankly anyone stupid enough to take drugs because Kate Moss does, should be given sufficient drugs to bring about a fatal overdose. They would not be any great loss. As for Lorraine Kelly -words fail me.
I absolutely agree. As for Lorraine, I wish words would fail her.
A long and varied read. Personally I thought that the whole point of supermodels was that they're stick thin and take lots of drugs. So why the ruckus about it now? And Lorraine Kelly

And regarding zombie films, I watched Shaun of the Dead for the first time the other night. I wasn't as impressed as I'd be led to believe I should be. But hey; maybe it's a grower. And it's got a formidable list of DVD extras on it, which is a bonus.
OK maybe Kate Moss isn't a role model for ALL women but surely she is to her own daughter! I don't think that just because cocaine is accepted and wide spread in the 'fashion world' it is acceptable and beyond criticism.

As a wise man once said (well Robin Williams!) "cocaine is god's way of telling you you've got too much money" and it turns people into self-absorbed sanctimonious arseholes...
Paul -

You're right, I'd been meaning to apologise for the rather muddled-up nature of my current posts. You see, I have no internet in my new house, so I have to schlep to the public clusters around south Manchester whenever I want to get online.

As for 'Shaun Of The Dead', I think you're right. It's an excellent genre film, but in some ways it doesn't step out of that mold. The filmmaking itself is very clever, but it's on the short side, and even allowing for that, runs out of steam a little before the end. I still love it, and I own a copy, but I wouldn't say it was an all-time classic.

Intriguingly, the best response came from Fangoria, the American horror magazine, who absolutely loved it. It's an excellent review, as ever, and well worth reading if you have the spare time.

Happy -

Yes, I'm sure her daughter does look up to her. If you look though, I do say 'cocaine does a lot of damage to a lot of lives, and I would be upset if anyone misinterpreted this post as a defence of the drug, because it certainly isn't.' I don't want anyone to be in any doubt about this - I don't condone people taking it in any way. What I was objecting to is the way she's been singled out, as if she's the only person to blame.
Fair enough, i'm not saying you condone the old Columbian Marching powder!! was adding to your post, not disagreeing with it... you'll learn Stevey boy! (you said i could write posts on here myself when you were drunk!! and why haven't you replied to my text?!! i thought you had been eaten by mice!)
I'm really sorry! My phone is out of action at the mo, owing to the fact that there's just no signal at all in Fallowfield. I'm moving back on to the new phone just as soon as I can work out how to put credit on it, as it seems you can't buy it over the counter.

Would you still like to contribute? I'd sort of presumed you'd lost interest, but you're more than welcome.

The mice are gone! The Ratak killed 'em a few weeks ago. It's a safe zone now!
You should be able to top it up at the Natwest cashpoint mate...

Nah don't want to contribute: think we would probably fall out after a week... this is your realm!

Got loads to tell you though! Give us a text when you get the phone sorted and i'll give you a bell back (seriously my life has plunged further into total absurdity!) Am lookin forward to hearing what you've been up to aswell!! Glad to hear the mice have gone as i will probably making a trip up before christmas (he cheers!!) Nah, got more cash then i thought and i kinda miss the dump!!
'Kinda miss the dump.' You know you love it! Actually, the old commune is much more shipshape than previous - there's a new toilet seat.

One way or 't'other, you'll hear from me tomorrow . . .
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