Tuesday, August 09, 2005
'Cause I Want To Be The Minority'*
The Dark Prince has compiled a list of the three most awful minority groups. His list is good, but these groups need mentioning too. Here are a ghastly lot, in reverse order of awfulness:
1) People who chew their fingernails. I had a thesis about this, which was that people who do this do so because they can't afford nail scissors. However, a very wealthy friend of mine does it too, so my new thesis is that it is a form of very slight mental imbalance. It's a filthy and pointless habit, lacking even the intellectual honesty of nose-picking.
2) Anyone who waves their hand in front of their face when someone lights a cigarette near them. For fuck's sake, just say something. I can actually respect people with the cojones to speak up, but this poncy display is absolutely typical of the worst type of health freak. Often, the person doing this will be called Jasper. It's a fact.
3) People who whinge about lateness. I am famously late to everything. It's a family tradition. Yet some people object, and complain and harp on when I'm late to the pub or work or a wedding or whatever. Just start ten minutes after your schedule says, and then I'll only be a little late. A mite of consideration, please!
Feel free to add others.
*Green Day, 'Minority.'
1) People who chew their fingernails. I had a thesis about this, which was that people who do this do so because they can't afford nail scissors. However, a very wealthy friend of mine does it too, so my new thesis is that it is a form of very slight mental imbalance. It's a filthy and pointless habit, lacking even the intellectual honesty of nose-picking.
2) Anyone who waves their hand in front of their face when someone lights a cigarette near them. For fuck's sake, just say something. I can actually respect people with the cojones to speak up, but this poncy display is absolutely typical of the worst type of health freak. Often, the person doing this will be called Jasper. It's a fact.
3) People who whinge about lateness. I am famously late to everything. It's a family tradition. Yet some people object, and complain and harp on when I'm late to the pub or work or a wedding or whatever. Just start ten minutes after your schedule says, and then I'll only be a little late. A mite of consideration, please!
Feel free to add others.
*Green Day, 'Minority.'
