Friday, July 08, 2005

 

Your Sordid Tales Won't Be Slytherin My Snitch, You Can Be Sure Of That

Of course, I'm sure you will by now be aware that there is yet another book about that accursed Potter. It's out in just a few weeks, and the hype is predictably huge. I live not far from a shopping mall. The mall opens at nine in the morning, and closes at nine at night. Simple. However, Potter is changing all that. Now the book shop have been granted a special licence to open at midnight on the day of its release in order that people, who presumably can't wait the eight or nine hours until the shops open in the morning, can get it hot off the press. It's not a book, it's a public spectacle - nay, a public orgy.

One thing sadly lacking amongst the hype, however, is 'Potter porn.' Seriously. Try and read as much of it as you can. I got through about five emails (don't they use owls at Hogwarts, anyway?) before vomiting in the wastepaper basket. I'd be impressed by anyone getting any further - it's rather like Lewis and Clarke negotiating the (literary) wilderness.

Comments:
Don't people buy stuff off the interweb anymore? Buying stuff is so much easier when you don't have to go out to do it.
 
I couldn't do anywhere near five, sorry. It's all a bit strange if you haven't read the books. "I overheard Dumbledore talking to McGonagall and they think he's just handed himself over to Voldemort." What the? Who the? Why the?
 
Tony -

Actually, I buy most stuff over t'Internet nowadays. Got a consignment of film posters coming this week. 'Eraserhead', 'Basket Case', 'Bride Of Chucky' and 'Run Lola Run.' Damn, I have fine taste.

HB -

I guess they wouldn't make much sense in that case. I certainly wouldn't bother reading them if I were you. They're like fried chicken - you know it's bad for you, but you've just gotta have another one.

It's the greatest tragedy of my life that I shall probably be in the queue with all the morons at midnight.

Maybe I don't have such good taste after all.
 
Dammit people... I don't even read the Harry Potter books... OR watch the movies... but I'll be hanged if I didn't spend an hour of my life reading that accurssed mmail crap with the game narrative immediately following...
 
Tell me about it! Same here. The thing is, you'll neber get that hour back. It's gone forever, lost, given up to Rowling and her fucking creation.

Gah!
 
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