Friday, June 17, 2005
An Open Letter To Saskia, Who Of Course Can't Read It
Hello!
I don't know what it is, but you've begun to annoy me a little over the last few days. Actually, I'm lying - I know exactly what it is. You're not giving me enough. I need more, and you need to give me more. Our relationship will improve because of it, trust me.
You see, all the other girls (well, Sam and Makosi anyway) are showing themselves off a bit. You need to do this too. Obviously, reaching the highlights of last year's show, when stripping became a recreational activity no rarer than a cup of tea, were always unlikely. I need something, though!
I know what it is. You are teasing the public. However, I have a message from the public - hurry the fuck up will you! Nobody likes a prude. So just fucking fuck Maxwell like you obviously want to and then we, and most importantly I, can get on with my life.
Thank you for listening telepathically.
Dr Feelgood.
Saskia, this is not enough. Stop teasing me, and get naked!
UPDATE!
This is a little better, now you're starting down a good path. Go there, please!
I don't know what it is, but you've begun to annoy me a little over the last few days. Actually, I'm lying - I know exactly what it is. You're not giving me enough. I need more, and you need to give me more. Our relationship will improve because of it, trust me.
You see, all the other girls (well, Sam and Makosi anyway) are showing themselves off a bit. You need to do this too. Obviously, reaching the highlights of last year's show, when stripping became a recreational activity no rarer than a cup of tea, were always unlikely. I need something, though!
I know what it is. You are teasing the public. However, I have a message from the public - hurry the fuck up will you! Nobody likes a prude. So just fucking fuck Maxwell like you obviously want to and then we, and most importantly I, can get on with my life.
Thank you for listening telepathically.
Dr Feelgood.
Saskia, this is not enough. Stop teasing me, and get naked!
UPDATE!
This is a little better, now you're starting down a good path. Go there, please!
Comments:
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She is, and I admit this is a little sad, but she is a contestant on this years 'Big Brother.'
Hold on - before you (rightly) dismiss this (after all, isn't Big Brother pretty much the very, very bottom of televisions pretty crappy ladder), I should point out that this years contestants are such extravagant arseholes that it's actually distinctly, and rather wonderfully, bizarre watching them. We've had fighting, homo-baiting, injuries and the astonishing sight of a fat lady thinking she looked good in a PVC policewoman's outfit.
Anyhoo, I shall keep you posted upon her for-God's-sake-Saskia-do-it-if-just-for-me-I-can't-bear-it-any-more soon-to-be-upcoming nudity!
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Hold on - before you (rightly) dismiss this (after all, isn't Big Brother pretty much the very, very bottom of televisions pretty crappy ladder), I should point out that this years contestants are such extravagant arseholes that it's actually distinctly, and rather wonderfully, bizarre watching them. We've had fighting, homo-baiting, injuries and the astonishing sight of a fat lady thinking she looked good in a PVC policewoman's outfit.
Anyhoo, I shall keep you posted upon her for-God's-sake-Saskia-do-it-if-just-for-me-I-can't-bear-it-any-more soon-to-be-upcoming nudity!
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